The dating scam is constantly evolving and we’re no different. Before the Moderation team started, our Support Team, who handle all the day-to-day customer queries via email and on the phone, also had the job of monitoring activity on the site and worming out these ‘scammers’. Since then we’ve expanded and developed massively, allowing us to dedicate a team of people, specifically trained in the knowledge of scam profiles and scammer activity, to regulate the site more intensely. A team of 4 full time members back in February 2010, is now a team of 6 full time and 6 part time members who are now monitoring over 16,000 profiles, photos and messages every single day. Using their trained eye and our knowledge bank of ‘scammer’-ish behaviour we have acquired over the years, we are better equipped than ever to deal with dating scammers.

Things don’t stop there though. Scammers have often tried to slip through our nets by entering very little detail on their profile, keeping their activity to an absolute minimum, or sometimes none at all & as a result, our Moderations Team may have seen very little of these profiles. Aside from the monitoring of suspicious members, features like ‘Report this member’ (giving the member the ability to bring a suspicious looking profile to our attention) are very useful in counter-acting this sort of deception, but its success depends on users’ self-regulation.

However! There are now many more ways of tracking different forms of bogus activity & we’ve introduced new measures to combat fraud such as monitoring failed and suspicious payments and also, more recently, adding systems allowing us to more closely scrutinize what IP addresses are being used so we can block repeat offenders. This means that even the scammers who avoid activity and try their utmost to conceal themselves on the site, can now be caught quickly, saving a potential victim a lot of emotional trauma and distress.

Since online dating started, the scammers have become more intelligent and more resourceful, but the net has tightened and we are as adept at ‘fishing’ as they are. No matter how quickly they adapt to us, there are now fewer places to hide and we are always one step ahead!

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There’s a well known book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, but WHY do men and women seem to view the world from completely different perspectives, as if they’re from separate planets?

We often hear women say they don’t understand men & vice versa, but is the battle of the sexes real? After all, women often exhibit masculine qualities and men demonstrate a feminine side; aren’t we all a little bit of both? Of course there are no hard & fast rules that apply to everyone. However, in general, women are viewed as more emotional and sensitive, primarily concerned with communication and relationships, whereas men are known for being cool, inexpressive, physical and sexual, with a propensity to try to fix things, or resolve issues in a logical, matter of fact manner.

Men & women DO have different physiological components, i.e. brain patterns & chemistry; there are 78 genes in the Y chromosome that are different from those in the X chromosome, not to mention hormonal differences caused by the different levels of oestrogen & testosterone. Characteristically, men tend to process things logically, in black and white, whereas women do so sentimentally, in the grey area.

Society teaches men “big boys don’t cry”, ‘be tough,’ ‘take it like a man’. Anger is permitted but any evidence of a softer side is taboo. Yet look behind the strong facade and you’ll find someone stinging with the same insecurities, jealousy, hurt, and fear that women possess. Perhaps if men were encouraged to convey their full range of emotions, there’d be a lot less warring between individuals, as well as nations.

Women increase their esteem from keeping the family together, thriving in love and intimacy, whereas a man’s worth appears tied to his financial success. Consequently, the man may have to be more accountable and tolerate more in the workplace, as he can’t afford to leave or be fired from his job. Although things are changing, with more women having successful careers & some men choosing to stay at home with the children, traditionally, women still have to give birth & men really have little choice but to go to work & build a career.

These scenarios can often transfer to dating, where a man may feel interrogated by a lot of questions, especially regarding economic status. Women are notoriously attracted to success and if the guy wants to be appealing, his value often seemingly depends on being an achiever. A woman’s innocent interest in a man’s residence, career, or car, can brand her a gold digger. Consider that the reason she’s asking about your livelihood isn’t her desire to find a sugar daddy but an honesty curiosity into what makes you tick and what’s meaningful for you. Since men are so work oriented, they consider initial dates as a job interview, which in some sense is quite accurate. Men try to sell themselves, hoping to land the position of ‘mate.’ On the other hand, a man’s enquiries into a woman’s former marriage(s) or children may cause defensiveness on her part, for fear he’ll label her a failure, as her identity is linked to flourishing familial relationships.

Men are visual; women verbal. When a man sees someone alluring, he responds physically; women react emotionally. That’s why after making love, men can fall asleep, feeling fulfilled, while women want to continue the connection, through talking, touching, cuddling. Women fall faster; men harder. Women will speak of being in love after having sex once or twice: men just use those terms after knowing you on a deeper level. Men tend to be loners & go to a party alone or with a mate, Women are inclined to mix in groups.

If you’ve ever wondered why it’s difficult to get your guy to communicate with more than a grunt during his favourite sports program, while women can simultaneously watch TV, talk and do other activities? It’s because women are comfortable multi-tasking, whereas men prefer focusing on a single item.

Women have better memories for details, whereas men often forget birthdays and anniversaries. Men find comfort in solving problems and try to find solutions to their partners quandaries, even when they’re not looking for advice! Men try to resolve the problem, when it suffices for the women to be heard and acknowledged. Rather than trying to fix the dilemma presented, men can work wonders by practising active listening and subsequently being seen as understanding & caring.

Men and women also have different time clocks! If a woman doesn’t hear from you within a day or two, it’s like an eternity to her, but to a man it’s merely minutes. If a guy waits several days to call, she’s likely to have already built up irritation and resentment, evident by her tone of voice. Conversely, he can’t comprehend why she’s upset, given that to him, it’s only a short period of time that’s passed. Take into account that when a man doesn’t call you back right away, it may have nothing to do with you. He may simply be sorting out his thoughts as they do on Mars.

But, no matter Whether from Mars or Venus, we’re all looking to love and be loved.

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As part of the changes we made the profile page a single source for all member information, a bit like the Facebook news feed! To achieve this we created a simple photo gallery that could be browsed from the main profile page, allowing viewers to get a better feel for a member without needing to move from page to page. This feature has proved a massive success, with the photo gallery receiving thousands of clicks each hour!

We then considered member communication and engagement. How could we lower the barriers between two members and encourage a viewer to wink, chat or favourite the member they are viewing?

The answer was to draw greater focus to these key features by relocating them to a more prominent position and by making them larger and bolder, with clearer labels and iconography. The impact was clear with 90% more messages, 30% more winks and 56% more members added as a favourite, in the first three weeks from launch!!

We also wanted to provide more ways to interact with a member. So we added the ability to comment on a member’s status, request additional photos and ask a member to come online and chat. Each of these features provides new and simple methods to engage with another member, greatly increasing the amount of site communication.

As a result of the new profile pages, we are seeing the following:

• Around 118% more winks being sent per profile view
• 195% more message are being sent, helped by the new inline messaging form and photo/chat requests
• 200% more members have been added as a favourite
• Average time spent on a profile has increased by 87%

Building new features is only one step in a long and continuous process. We will continue to investigate, build and test new features for the profile page and have lots of ideas in the pipeline.

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Just log in any time on Friday 29th April and you’ll automatically be able to read everything that those lovely Members have sent you on Find Me Mature Singles.

This is our special Wedding gift to you (we thought William and Kate would have enough to keep them busy). So whatever you do, don’t miss this great chance to read your messages before you reply! 

Don’t Forget…

Don’t forget, you’ve still got time to enter our great Royal Wedding competition. Just find William or Kates dating profile in the Find Me Mature Singles database and send him/her a wink to win a month’s FREE Membership.*

* 30 days’ free Membership will be given to first 50 people to send a wink before 11:00 BST on 29th April 2011 to the profiles set up by Find Me Mature Singles.

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Currently, there’s an average of 9,000 posts a day on online media relating to the Royal Wedding. Internationally, those excited by it outweigh the “haters” by 6:1, so love it or loathe it, you can’t really ignore what’s happening tomorrow!

Around a million people are expected to travel to central London tomorrow, to watch the happy couple tie the knot, not to mention the two billion people that the wedding is expected to attract on a global scale.

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Our ‘Royal Treasure Hunt’ promotion is continuing, so keep looking for those prince or princess profile, with a free months membership or credits available.

A Free Read will also take place all day on Friday 29th April, with a 3-for-2 promotion going out to all free members on Saturday.

We have some fantastic Royal Wedding gifts available too – a great way to make your message stand out to someone you like the look of!

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Among OkCupid’s findings are two conclusions about Twitter users. The first one: People who use Twitter every day tend to have shorter relationships, and the problem gets worse as a person gets older, according to its analysis of 833,987 OkCupid users.

However, if you read the actual results of the survey, the figures are that “the average relationship for an 18-year-old who uses Twitter is about nine months, while “everybody else” usually has a relationship average of nine-and-a-half months.” Even more “shocking” is that “at age 50, the frequent tweeter has a 15 month-long relationship, while the non-frequent Twitter user stays in a relationship for an average of almost 17 months.”

Wow! If you use Twitter at 18, your relationship will last 2 weeks less & if you’re 50, you’ll get a whole 2 months extra, by not using Twitter!!

Could this be the most pointless dating survey ever released? Or do you know of one with even less useful information?!

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This research backs up the phenomenal success we have experienced on our mature network. Over the past three months, the mature network has seen new member levels soar by 46%.

So join the other over 50′s singles on Find Me Mature Singles today!

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At Find Me Mature Singles, we’re here to help you find love, happiness and fulfillment in 2011, so throughout the year we’ll be posting ideas, tips and advice for how to make the most out of your dating experience, both online and offline. This month we’re focusing on love, work and money…a few simple tips for these aspects of your life can really boost your overall happiness.

Love

The anxiety of being single at Christmas is finally over and you’ve got a whole new year of dating excitement to look forward to. Why not devote some quality time to yourself and figure out what you want from a partner and a relationship? Knowing what’s important to you will increase your chances of having a successful relationship.

So let’s start your new dating journey by updating your profile, adding a few new photos from the Christmas party (perhaps from the start of the night when you were looking your best!), upload a new diary entry about your New Year resolutions or have a browse through our other members’ diaries and check out what they’re hoping to achieve this year. Either way, let’s get the dating started. Remember the World Wide Web is your oyster!

Work

The average job takes up 10 hours of your day, that’s 2,600 hours a year! Yes we spend that much time at work, and if we’re not happy in our jobs this can have a huge impact on the happiness in our lives. So here’s your task – why not just choose to be happy at work? Happiness is largely a choice, I can hear many of you arguing with me, but it’s true.

Here are just a few ways this can be achieved at work; Think positively, avoid negative people and ignore office gossip. Find co-workers you like, and try to spend time with them, both in and out of the office. Make the most out of your lunch break and get away from your desk, for example a sneaky lunch date with the member you were chatting to the evening before. A few simple changes can improve your happiness 2,600 hours a year!

Money

The turkey’s been eaten, the pressies have been opened (perhaps even returned!) and the festive tunes have been put to rest for another year. Yes, that’s right – another Christmas and NYE has been and gone! We know how money can be tight for most people this month but, on the bright side, it’s also the time for January SALES so now’s the time to grab a bargain.

Everywhere you look you’ll find great discounts, whether it’s on the perfect date outfit or a place to go on your romantic rendezvous. While you’re online wooing your date, why not check out some great discount sites for 2-4-1 restaurant vouchers, money off a fun day out, or check out the free events in your local area. A date doesn’t have to be expensive but the experience can definitely be priceless!

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